1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:04,059
I'm simply saying that two hours is an
exceptionally long time to spend on

2
00:00:04,059 --> 00:00:08,300
one's hair. I mean, we so rarely get to
attend a formal vampire event and now

3
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,219
we're very late.

4
00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:13,180
It wasn't just my hair, Charles. I had
to bathe. By my count, that's the third

5
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,100
one this month. How clean do you need to
be?

6
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:16,440
Ah, Charles.

7
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,240
My God, what happened here?

8
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,980
It was werewolves.

9
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:24,360
You just missed them.

10
00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:28,040
Oh, so what do you think of my hair now,
Charles?

11
00:00:28,460 --> 00:00:34,710
Lovely. Worth the wait. Okay. To protect
yourselves from future attacks,

12
00:00:35,050 --> 00:00:40,570
you must find the Wolfsbane

13
00:00:40,570 --> 00:00:45,890
Chalice. Oh, he's dead.

14
00:00:46,890 --> 00:00:51,330
Anyone else in here clinging to life
know where or what the Wolfsbane Chalice

15
00:00:51,330 --> 00:00:52,330
is?

16
00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:54,350
Guess not.

17
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,560
Okay, we are going to leave it there for
today. Please read Chapter 9 for next

18
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,660
time. And no, I won't go to the AEPI
formal with you, Elliot.

19
00:01:09,380 --> 00:01:10,380
Thank you.

20
00:01:10,860 --> 00:01:13,800
Dr. Geltzer, to what do I owe this
pleasure?

21
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,860
Well, I just wanted to let you know that
the department has met and, well, you

22
00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:21,180
are being considered for full
professorship.

23
00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:22,580
Seriously?

24
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,040
That's amazing.

25
00:01:24,140 --> 00:01:27,000
Well, we all agree it's just a joy to
watch you teach. I mean, the way you

26
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,320
speak about Napoleonic France.

27
00:01:28,890 --> 00:01:29,890
It's like you were there, you know?

28
00:01:30,610 --> 00:01:31,610
Well, I wasn't.

29
00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:34,250
Yeah.

30
00:01:34,830 --> 00:01:36,870
So do you have any big Halloween plans
for tomorrow?

31
00:01:37,190 --> 00:01:40,490
Oh, yeah. You know, the kids, they asked
us to drop them off at Cascadia Ridge,

32
00:01:40,650 --> 00:01:42,670
which is like this noted Halloween
street.

33
00:01:42,950 --> 00:01:45,710
This is so funny. We live on Cascadia
Ridge.

34
00:01:46,010 --> 00:01:49,550
Seriously? You and your wife should stop
by for a little drink while the kids are

35
00:01:49,550 --> 00:01:52,950
out trick-or-treating. That would be so
fun. We could hand out candy and soul

36
00:01:52,950 --> 00:01:55,210
cakes. I'm sorry, soul cakes?

37
00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:56,690
Yeah, you know.

38
00:01:57,010 --> 00:01:58,010
Oh, soul.

39
00:01:58,190 --> 00:02:04,470
Soul cake, a soul cake of mercy on us
all for a soul cake.

40
00:02:06,190 --> 00:02:09,370
You've never heard the... Okay, I will
text you the address.

41
00:02:10,910 --> 00:02:13,750
Hey, so I couldn't help but notice that
we're the only house on the block

42
00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:18,170
without any decorations, which feels
kind of off-brand for a coven. Yeah, we

43
00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:19,530
don't really celebrate Halloween.

44
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,030
The whole thing is just offensive.

45
00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:25,470
A bunch of idiots in plastic fangs
stumbling over their capes. Well, excuse

46
00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:27,550
me, my culture is not your costume.

47
00:02:28,170 --> 00:02:32,210
The bigger issue is that werewolves are
emboldened on Halloween because they can

48
00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:35,270
assume their true form and blend in.
Yeah, it's a very dangerous night for

49
00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:38,670
vampires. You can get your arm bitten
off. And a lot of those sexy nurses

50
00:02:38,670 --> 00:02:39,569
walking around?

51
00:02:39,570 --> 00:02:42,310
No medical training at all. That's why
we do what, boys?

52
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:46,430
Stay inside. We must remember or else
our bodies are dismembered. My guys.

53
00:02:46,850 --> 00:02:49,090
So, has everyone heard the big news?

54
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,160
Our little Mort's got a hot Halloween
date tonight.

55
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,680
What? They're going to watch scary
movies in the basement.

56
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:56,960
Okay.

57
00:02:57,140 --> 00:02:58,920
Her name's Mackenzie. She's so cool.

58
00:02:59,140 --> 00:03:00,140
She's a sophomore.

59
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:01,620
She drives.

60
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,340
Wow, Mort, she's so cute.

61
00:03:03,980 --> 00:03:05,640
Wait, is that the background photo of
your phone?

62
00:03:05,860 --> 00:03:07,480
Seems like you're coming out a little
strong.

63
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,800
Yeah, buddy, you should probably change
that. It's a little creepy, and that's

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00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,060
coming from an undead monster.

65
00:03:12,580 --> 00:03:14,940
What? It's a figure of speech.

66
00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:16,300
Is it? Yeah.

67
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,400
So, uh, how'd you ask her out, Ward?

68
00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:22,320
It was crazy. She asked me out. She
walked over from the cool kids table at

69
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:23,340
lunch. Wow.

70
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:26,340
Oh, it's her. I should get this.

71
00:03:27,980 --> 00:03:29,260
Hey, Mackenzie.

72
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:30,500
You got this, buddy.

73
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,500
So, do you know this Mackenzie girl,
Henry?

74
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:34,940
Yeah, yeah, I do.

75
00:03:35,260 --> 00:03:38,840
Everyone does. She's super popular. And
she asked Ward out?

76
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,080
Yeah, she did.

77
00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:43,560
I hate to be the one to say this, but
are we sure it's a real date and not

78
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,940
some mean bet like a she's all that
situation?

79
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,580
Or she's using Mort to get to Henry.

80
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:53,180
What a month. First I get the bubonic
plague and now a mean girl is using my

81
00:03:53,180 --> 00:03:55,360
son as bait to land my other son?

82
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,720
Can I suggest another possibility?

83
00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:01,380
Maybe this girl just sees the amazing
person that is Mort.

84
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,100
Oh, he's paying her? Like a can't buy me
love scenario?

85
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:07,880
Definitely. Definitely.

86
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,560
You're so right. It's gotta be that.

87
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,200
Okay, I put a bunch of these out in the
yard.

88
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,760
Spooky, right? It's like a corpse hand
clawing its way out of the ground.

89
00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:21,339
That's not what they look like. Their
flesh would be far more desiccated. Oh,

90
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,980
but I suppose the good people at Party
City know better.

91
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,300
I think it's fun, Max.

92
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,640
Thank you, Liz.

93
00:04:27,190 --> 00:04:31,510
Also, I put out a bowl of candy for
people to help themselves, so we won't

94
00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:33,750
even have to deal with
trick-or-treaters, Charles, okay? I

95
00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:35,850
suppose that's fine. Are you wearing cat
ears, Liz?

96
00:04:36,190 --> 00:04:39,430
What is going on? Why are we so suddenly
in the Halloween spirit?

97
00:04:39,710 --> 00:04:42,630
I thought we were in agreement that we
were the creepy lights-out house.

98
00:04:42,870 --> 00:04:47,470
Actually, Charles, we are hosting Dr.
Geltzer and his wife for a festive drink

99
00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:50,490
tonight. Oh, you're department head?
What? Why?

100
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:52,910
Because I'm up for a promotion.

101
00:04:53,650 --> 00:04:55,890
They're considering me for a full-time
professorship.

102
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,840
Oh my god, that's amazing, Liz!

103
00:04:58,240 --> 00:04:59,240
High five!

104
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,440
Okay.

105
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:05,240
Yes! This is wonderful, but... When were
you planning on telling me about us

106
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:06,980
having guests that I need to entertain?

107
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:11,960
When it was too late for you to weasel
your way out of it.

108
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:13,600
Please.

109
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:18,500
This is a really big opportunity for me,
so just be nice.

110
00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:21,500
Okay. Thank you.

111
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:24,820
And who knows?

112
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:26,800
You might really like them.

113
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:31,520
Good evening.

114
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,780
I want to drink your wine.

115
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,540
Hey, what's going on? Talk to us, Henry.

116
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,100
Mort's date is still a no-show.

117
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,140
Damn it. Poor guy's gonna be crushed.

118
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,240
Guys, this is insane. Someone stole all
the candy I left out.

119
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:50,800
They even took the bowl.

120
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,320
I'm sorry. We've got bigger problems
than someone taking your Tupperware,

121
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,620
Max. It wasn't Tupperware. It was this
really cool old goblet that I found in

122
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:57,219
the basement.

123
00:05:57,220 --> 00:06:00,800
It's glass and the handle was this
silvery wolf's paw thing.

124
00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:05,240
Was the rim adorned with 16 rubies? I
mean, there were some red stones on it.

125
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:09,380
They were... Sort of ribby-like. Oh, my
God. You put out the Wolf's Bane Chalice

126
00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:10,380
as a Halloween decoration?

127
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,580
I what? How could you be so foolish,
Max?

128
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:15,980
Well, I'm still learning about all this
stuff. What? What is the Wolf's Head

129
00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:20,000
Chalice? The Wolf's Bane Chalice, Max,
is an ancient relic that protects our

130
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,660
domicile from a werewolf incursion. It
being lost or stolen leaves us

131
00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:26,860
vulnerable to a werewolf attack, which
we don't have to explain to you, or

132
00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:29,420
maybe we do. There is a heightened risk
of on Halloween.

133
00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:33,820
Okay. Uh, what does this mean? What it
means is that we need to find the

134
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:37,130
chalice. before a werewolf discovers
that it's missing. Because if they do,

135
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,910
we are in extreme danger.

136
00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:42,750
Hey guys, look who just showed up. It's
Mackenzie.

137
00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:44,290
Hey everyone.

138
00:06:44,830 --> 00:06:45,830
She's a werewolf.

139
00:06:47,070 --> 00:06:47,510
You

140
00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:59,210
can

141
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,530
move a little closer if you want.

142
00:07:00,870 --> 00:07:01,870
I won't bite.

143
00:07:10,670 --> 00:07:13,530
What I want to know is how that little
bitch even sussed out that Mort's a

144
00:07:13,530 --> 00:07:15,150
vampire. Whoa, whoa, little bitch?

145
00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:17,970
She's technically a dog, Max. It's their
preferred vernacular.

146
00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:19,190
Guys, this is nuts.

147
00:07:19,390 --> 00:07:23,390
She's just a girl wearing an admittedly
very convincing Halloween costume.

148
00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:27,970
But if she's a werewolf, why hasn't she
done anything yet? Werewolves rarely

149
00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:31,930
attack solo. She's probably a scout for
the pack sent to probe our defenses.

150
00:07:32,290 --> 00:07:33,990
I mean, I love my boy, but this is not
adding up.

151
00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:37,030
Henry told me that Mackenzie dated the
quarterback last year.

152
00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:38,630
Let's just kick her out.

153
00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:42,240
Better safe than sorry. Before we ruin
Mort's date, is there any way to find

154
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:46,540
out for sure if this girl is a werewolf
or not? I mean, yes, there's the

155
00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:47,540
Lupinian trials.

156
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,800
Yes, yes. There are a series of ancient
tests we could run to prove if someone

157
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:55,120
is or is not a werewolf. Then isn't it
at least worth trying to find out for

158
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,120
Mort?

159
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:59,460
Fine, let's run the tests and see how
this bitch does.

160
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:01,760
I feel like now maybe you're overusing
it.

161
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:07,220
Okay. So, tell us a little bit about you
guys. How long have you been married?

162
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:13,520
Well, let's see. We got married one,
two, three years ago.

163
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:21,240
You know, because vampires love
counting. Well, some do count, but it's

164
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:25,020
not out of love. It's a compulsion, a
dark affliction.

165
00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:26,340
Would you guys like a snack?

166
00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:28,540
I could go bring out a cheese board.

167
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,300
As long as it's nothing with garlic.

168
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,820
Okay, that garlic thing is just a
ridiculous stereotype.

169
00:08:35,179 --> 00:08:36,760
Vampires? They're not real.

170
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,640
Charles, you know how important this is
to me. Just smile and nod.

171
00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:43,600
These two, they're no better than a
couple of Prussians.

172
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:46,360
Please, this will all be over in one
hour.

173
00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:50,040
What's going on? I don't know.

174
00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:52,460
Is the cheese board not happening?

175
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,580
Sorry to, uh, interrupt.

176
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,080
Um, no, it's okay.

177
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,880
What's up? Oh, it's just you guys have
been sitting for a while. I thought you

178
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:05,580
might want to, uh... Go for a walk?

179
00:09:07,370 --> 00:09:08,930
Um, no, we're good.

180
00:09:09,470 --> 00:09:10,930
That's one of the tasks? What are you
writing down?

181
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:12,890
Subject's ears slightly perked up.

182
00:09:13,290 --> 00:09:15,650
Seriously? Okay, not a problem.

183
00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:16,870
Heads up!

184
00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:18,110
Ooh.

185
00:09:18,530 --> 00:09:19,530
Interesting.

186
00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:20,810
Yeah.

187
00:09:20,970 --> 00:09:23,890
Going in. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I
really appreciate you guys coming down

188
00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:25,390
here, but we're just trying to watch the
movie.

189
00:09:25,590 --> 00:09:28,450
Totally. We'll get out of your hair.
Yeah, speaking of hair, Mackenzie, that

190
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:29,550
is such a great costume.

191
00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:33,670
Do you mind if I just... Ow! What the
hell? Can you guys get out of here?

192
00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:35,850
Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Go, go, go, go, go,
go. Go.

193
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,420
Did you hear that yelp? Oh, I heard it.
Very lupine.

194
00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:41,660
We need to do something.

195
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,980
Agreed. The coven is in danger. We must
act. Okay, guys, again, if you're wrong,

196
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,440
Mort is never going to forgive you.

197
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:50,800
Is there anything else we can do besides
kicking Mort's date out of the house?

198
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:54,140
We could put the cone on her. That still
won't stop her from alerting the pack.

199
00:09:54,540 --> 00:09:56,540
Yeah, you're right. That's the only
problem with that idea.

200
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:57,940
Or we could tell my dad.

201
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,340
What? He's the head of our coven.

202
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:01,920
You could seek his counsel.

203
00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:05,820
Alert him to the fact that you put out
the Wolfsbane Chalice as a vessel to

204
00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:07,460
distribute fun-sized Butterfingers.

205
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,500
Yeah, okay.

206
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:13,280
Let's kick her out.

207
00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:19,060
So, Charles, you might be interested to
know that Glenn is actually working on a

208
00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:20,460
book about the Seven Years' War.

209
00:10:20,740 --> 00:10:24,780
And that his thesis is that the
Prussians were to blame.

210
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,120
Oh, you're a...

211
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:27,940
disdainer of the Prussian people?

212
00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:32,820
Well, it may have been fair to say that
in the past, but my research has taken a

213
00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:34,280
bit of a turn of late. Oh, God.

214
00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:38,420
See, having delved deeper into the
topic, it is now my contention that the

215
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:41,100
Prussian Empire has been unfairly
maligned.

216
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:42,820
Oh, really?

217
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:43,799
How so?

218
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:47,400
Well, take Frederick the Great, for
instance, one of history's unsung

219
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:48,400
heroes. Fred?

220
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:49,640
Little Fred?

221
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,120
We don't need to keep talking about
hot-button topics like Frederick the

222
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,120
Great. The Great!

223
00:10:54,890 --> 00:10:55,930
It was sarcastic.

224
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:58,550
The air quotes didn't show up in the
history books.

225
00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:00,010
I'm sorry, where are you getting your
information?

226
00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:04,270
Everyone knows the Prussians were
absolutely responsible for the Seven

227
00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:07,550
Years' War. Not only that, they reeked
deeply of cabbage.

228
00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:11,470
Okay, I don't know what strange Reddit
holes you've been down, but I think I

229
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:12,409
know what I'm talking about.

230
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,050
Oh, you do, do you? Well, you weren't
even there.

231
00:11:14,730 --> 00:11:18,990
What? What he means is you weren't
there, we weren't there, nobody was

232
00:11:18,990 --> 00:11:19,949
there. Right?

233
00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:20,950
More manchego?

234
00:11:21,219 --> 00:11:25,280
Maybe we should go. Yeah, I think that
might be best. If you'll excuse us, we

235
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,720
would like to be formally invited to
leave.

236
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:28,980
That's not a thing!

237
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:31,740
I can't believe you guys.

238
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,020
Why did you just kick Mackenzie out of
our house?

239
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:38,080
And, Emma, why did you spray her with a
water bottle? Listen, buddy, it seems

240
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:41,480
likely Mackenzie was an actual werewolf.
Now, I know what you're thinking. How

241
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,200
did she get in here while we're under
the protection of the Wolfsbane Chalice?

242
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:45,420
Oh, hey, guys.

243
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,100
Just grabbing some more brandy for my
sangria.

244
00:11:50,050 --> 00:11:52,030
Babe, where did you get that cup?

245
00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:54,230
Oh, this thing? I found it outside.

246
00:11:54,510 --> 00:11:57,670
It had candy in it. But I thought it'd
be perfect for my costume.

247
00:11:57,990 --> 00:12:00,270
And you were here in the house this
whole time?

248
00:12:00,590 --> 00:12:03,250
Yep. Just drinking alone in my bedroom.

249
00:12:03,710 --> 00:12:04,710
Well, not alone.

250
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:08,150
I was playing Halloween Zoo Mahjong with
the Panera crew.

251
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:10,310
Woo-hoo!

252
00:12:10,490 --> 00:12:11,690
Anyway, back to it.

253
00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:16,330
That was the Wall of Spain chalice,
right? So if Phyllis had the chalice and

254
00:12:16,330 --> 00:12:20,040
she was here all night... It means the
domicile was under its protection.

255
00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:22,820
Therefore, Mort's date could not have
been a werewolf.

256
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,220
Well, that's good news, buddy.

257
00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:31,020
She seems great.

258
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:35,660
So let me get this straight. You guys
thought it was more likely that

259
00:12:35,660 --> 00:12:40,100
Mackenzie was an actual werewolf than
just a girl who liked me?

260
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,660
It's just that the costume was really
realistic.

261
00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:44,440
Her dad's a costume designer.

262
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,860
He worked for Lucasfilm. Oh my god,
that's actually really cool. It is.

263
00:12:48,020 --> 00:12:50,980
She's really cool. And she liked me. You
guys ruined it.

264
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:52,860
I'm so sorry, son.

265
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,320
Well, that's not going to get her back,
is it?

266
00:12:57,060 --> 00:12:58,060
What?

267
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,820
I mean, I did say I didn't think she was
a werewolf.

268
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:04,360
Yeah, sorry.

269
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:08,640
Oh, that's sort of fun.

270
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:09,960
Washing dishes.

271
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,630
We don't get to do that very often.
Charles, I don't really want to be

272
00:13:12,630 --> 00:13:13,630
around you right now.

273
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:14,669
Oh, Liz.

274
00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:15,670
One hour.

275
00:13:15,970 --> 00:13:19,430
That's all I asked of you. You couldn't
just suck it up, play nice.

276
00:13:19,730 --> 00:13:22,930
I mean, I tried, but that man was
insufferable. You are insufferable.

277
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:25,490
All you ever care about is yourself.

278
00:13:25,870 --> 00:13:29,350
Okay. How about just sacrificing for me,
for once?

279
00:13:29,570 --> 00:13:32,010
Oh, come on. So what if you get a
promotion?

280
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:36,590
I'm sorry, but we'll just have to move
in a few years like we always do and...

281
00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:40,180
Then you'll get another job and we'll
move again and eventually we'll see the

282
00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:41,180
sun explode.

283
00:13:41,260 --> 00:13:46,340
And I don't know what will happen after
that. We'll just be floating about in a

284
00:13:46,340 --> 00:13:47,340
big void, I suppose.

285
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:50,140
Which is honestly sort of terrifying.

286
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,460
So that's why you acted like that?

287
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:58,860
Because none of this matters? Because my
promotion doesn't matter? I'm just

288
00:13:58,860 --> 00:14:03,400
saying, in a big void scenario... Well,
it matters to me, Charles.

289
00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:06,560
That should be enough.

290
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,160
What?

291
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:10,720
Liz.

292
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:12,500
Liz!

293
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:15,780
Remember,

294
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:18,720
any of these trick-or-treaters could be
werewolves in disguise. We have to stay

295
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:19,720
vigilant.

296
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:23,460
Not that Mort's love life isn't very
important to me, but maybe we just do

297
00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:26,780
this tomorrow or really any other night
that we're not at a heightened risk for

298
00:14:26,780 --> 00:14:27,780
dismemberment. No.

299
00:14:28,030 --> 00:14:29,370
We have to speak with Mackenzie tonight.

300
00:14:29,810 --> 00:14:32,530
First thing tomorrow, she's going to go
to school and tell all her friends what

301
00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:35,010
happened. And they're going to tell
their friends. Next thing you know,

302
00:14:35,050 --> 00:14:37,050
Mort's going to be a pariah, like we
thought he was initially.

303
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,910
Why didn't we just bring the chalice?

304
00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:46,570
Unfortunately, it's strictly for
domiciles. You can't roam with it.

305
00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:49,130
Bro thinks it's a wolf's bane to go mug.

306
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:53,410
Just hear us out.

307
00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:56,990
Mom! Look, all we wanted to say was...

308
00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:58,920
Gotcha.

309
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,300
What? The keys, the tennis ball.

310
00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:06,320
We were just messing with you, you know,
because of the costume. It's a classic

311
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,780
Halloween trick. Most people do treats,
but we're just kind of random like that.

312
00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:12,920
Wait, wait, wait. Mackenzie, please,
don't hold this against Mort.

313
00:15:13,140 --> 00:15:16,140
He had nothing to do with it, and we
know it went too far.

314
00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:19,480
Yeah, I never should have threatened you
with a spray bottle or called you a

315
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,020
bitch. You called me a bitch?

316
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:24,200
No. Can you guys please leave? Yeah,
sorry. We're going.

317
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:32,200
Actually, uh, can we just come in until
like dawn? Oh my god, get out of here

318
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:36,020
Are

319
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:42,640
you guys okay?

320
00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:43,820
What happened?

321
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:49,060
I'm not sure there's a bat Chasing us
for blocks. We couldn't get rid of it.

322
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:53,840
It's almost like it funneled us right to
your door a bat How strange and that

323
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:57,530
Susan? whacked it with her purse, and
then it ricocheted off a lamp post and

324
00:15:57,530 --> 00:16:00,050
landed in a bush. But then it just kept
coming.

325
00:16:00,330 --> 00:16:04,270
Hey, you guys are back. What a pleasant
surprise.

326
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:08,190
Perhaps we could give this evening
another try.

327
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:13,780
You know, it is kind of late, and I'm
sure the bat is probably gone by now.

328
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:17,760
Yeah, we should go. But before you do, I
really need to apologize.

329
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:21,240
Glenn, I read some of your academic
publishings online.

330
00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:25,400
They were erudite and well-reasoned, and
they convinced me that the Prussians

331
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,200
were indeed a wonderful people.

332
00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:31,980
Wow. Thank you. I mean, it's so big of
you to say that.

333
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:37,260
Yeah. For instance, they invented having
to fill out forms for everything, which

334
00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:38,600
was cool.

335
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,640
And Frederick the Great?

336
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,020
Oh, he was awesome.

337
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:45,580
And his subject smelled so normal.

338
00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:49,560
Well, I, for one, admire a person who
can admit when they're wrong.

339
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,480
And so, thee will stay.

340
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,280
Wonderful.

341
00:16:56,820 --> 00:16:59,340
Nice. Close. It's a little deeper in the
throat.

342
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,720
Is it? Right. And the laugh. The laugh's
really what sells it, so.

343
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,020
Yeah.

344
00:17:14,510 --> 00:17:17,089
It's so stupid. Look, here's the good
news.

345
00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:21,589
I mean, we move cities every four or
five years, so the humiliation, it

346
00:17:21,589 --> 00:17:22,589
really has an end date.

347
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:24,770
Cool. That's helpful.

348
00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:27,089
Hey, buddy.

349
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,089
Can we come in?

350
00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:31,730
Why? You guys already apologized for
chasing Mackenzie out of here. Yeah,

351
00:17:31,790 --> 00:17:34,870
unfortunately, we have a new
Mackenzie-related offense to apologize

352
00:17:34,870 --> 00:17:38,270
for. We went over to her house to
explain our actions.

353
00:17:38,530 --> 00:17:41,990
We had this honestly kind of clever
explanation about how we were doing a

354
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:42,990
trick instead of a treat.

355
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:47,410
But it didn't work and possibly inflamed
the situation even more. Wait, you guys

356
00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:48,510
went to Mackenzie's house?

357
00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:50,790
Yeah, we know we blew it.

358
00:17:51,630 --> 00:17:56,110
You guys went out on Halloween, the most
dangerous night for vampires to venture

359
00:17:56,110 --> 00:17:58,670
out, and risked possible dismemberment.

360
00:17:59,130 --> 00:18:00,089
For me?

361
00:18:00,090 --> 00:18:02,670
Yeah, we felt terrible for ruining your
date.

362
00:18:03,130 --> 00:18:04,790
We never should have doubted you, Sean.

363
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,820
And I know this feels bad right now, but
someone else is going to come along

364
00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:10,900
because you are an incredible guy.

365
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:12,979
Thanks, Dad.

366
00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:13,980
All right, buddy.

367
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:18,180
Oh, hey, it's Mackenzie.

368
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:20,340
She wants to hang out again.

369
00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:21,540
Dude, hell yeah!

370
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:26,020
That's great, Mark. Wait, so our apology
actually worked? No, but she says her

371
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:27,600
family's really weird too, so...

372
00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:30,970
She gets it. Yeah, I mean, I guess we
did act pretty weird doing all those

373
00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:31,970
werewolf tests on her.

374
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,089
Yeah, we were.

375
00:18:33,090 --> 00:18:34,910
No, she doesn't really care about that.

376
00:18:35,210 --> 00:18:37,250
These are more observations about you
guys.

377
00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:38,510
Like what?

378
00:18:39,110 --> 00:18:42,810
Okay, again, these aren't meant for you
to hear, but... We can take it.

379
00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:44,530
She's kind of ragging on your car, Dad.

380
00:18:45,030 --> 00:18:47,030
The Challenger? It's badass.

381
00:18:47,990 --> 00:18:49,270
She says it's douchey.

382
00:18:49,790 --> 00:18:52,610
It's giving desperate aging frat boy
trying to stay young.

383
00:18:52,850 --> 00:18:55,210
I am young. I am forever young.

384
00:18:56,780 --> 00:18:57,780
That's brutal.

385
00:18:58,420 --> 00:19:02,700
And Emma, she says your whole avoidant,
detached, cool girl facade combined with

386
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:05,280
Max's needy puppy dog energy is a recipe
for disaster.

387
00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:06,620
She gives you three months tops.

388
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:10,280
Yeah, it's kind of a twofer.

389
00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:12,860
Sufficient. Also, Emma, she thinks you
walk weird.

390
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,780
Anyway, I'm going to grab a snack.

391
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:16,940
Thanks for doing this for me, guys. It
means a lot.

392
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,760
Damn, she is not letting up on your
weird walk.

393
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,320
That girl is mean.

394
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,340
I feel emotionally dismembered.

395
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,900
Who does that Mackenzie girl think she
is questioning our relationship?

396
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,400
We're definitely going to last longer
than three months.

397
00:19:35,980 --> 00:19:39,120
She doesn't get it. We're going to be
dating so long, we're going to show

398
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,220
better deathbed holding hands.

399
00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:44,380
And then she'll be like, I was so wrong
about Max and Emma. Also, why haven't

400
00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:45,380
they itched?

401
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,060
She walks weird.

402
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,640
Oh, so clumpy, right?

403
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,380
I believe these are yours. Oh, Charles.

404
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,490
Last night was incredible.

405
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:59,230
So now it's birthdays and holidays?

406
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,830
Holiday. I'll take it.

407
00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:04,930
Oh, my head is pounding.

408
00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:10,430
Those Halloween zoo Mahjong Panera gals
can really get after it. That's

409
00:20:10,430 --> 00:20:12,730
wonderful, Phyllis. Oh, shoot.

410
00:20:12,970 --> 00:20:15,510
The sangria cup was not dishwasher safe.

411
00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:17,470
Dear God!

412
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,370
Oh, don't worry.

413
00:20:19,590 --> 00:20:22,110
I can get one just as good at Party
City.

414
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:28,200
and it'll be on sale now after the
holiday win win win oh okay